Friday, March 23, 2012

New Diagnosis

Well, yesterday (March 22, 2012) I ended up going to my Rheumatologist again. He ran tests to find out if my pain was from inflammation... and since it wasn't I apparently have Fibromyalgia.

This was a pretty awful thing to find out... not because it's just not a fun disease but because my boyfriends mother has it as well. He watched her suffer from it for years and knowing I could get as bad (or worse) than she did is pretty hard on him. I'm optimistic the medicine my doctor prescribed will help me. Apparently cymbalta (that anti-depressant medicine) is also used to help block nerve transmissions that fibromyalgia patients have. It's not "true" pain as in there is no inflammation linked to it... it's just like your brain is sending out all of these signals saying,"Hey, you're in pain." even if there is no real cause of it. This sounds accurate to what I've been dealing with but knowing boyfriends mom had it made me really not want this diagnosis... but it is what it is.

So... just thought I'd give a small update. I'm not going to rant much because this is just the beginning. I hope to come back soon enough saying,"HEY! THE MEDICINE IS WORKING AND I JUST POSTED TWELVE NEW TUTORIALS THIS WEEK!" but I'm probably dreaming.

One day at a time.

Friday, March 16, 2012

No... I haven't forgotten about this blog quite yet. =P

So, everything has been a mess lately. Our water heater busted about a week and a half ago... and while the plumber was here we asked him what this mysterious hissing was in our laundry room- a few hundred dollars later we had a hole in our washroom and a demolition crew in our home.

Apparently the washer hot line was leaking into the wall (small spray) but it was enough to saturate the inner wall... and leak down the floor and what not... so they ripped the wall up and our floor... which lead to the kitchen... so everything is in disarray at this point. Thankfully we have insurance so this will all be covered. In the end we get new floors and a new coat of paint... so I guess in a sense it's pretty cool even if we have to live with our kitchen being makeshift for about a month. What color should I pick? Haha.

Anyway... that was just a quick update on life and why I've been idle but now on to what this blog is truly about.

Today I saw a rheumatologist as many of you have suggested. I was unsure about it but they seemed to understand my situation. The nurse who took my blood pressure was a sweetheart. She actually helped me fill out my forms because I can't really write lately... even signing my name is becoming difficult. My hands/arms are just so rigid that cursive is a joke... but even regular writing is becoming quite comical. It's sad how hearing the questions was so much harder than reading them. Both I and the boyfriend were on the verge of tears as I went on about how things were.

(No, I'm not making this emo self pity party time- it's just not a good situation. I am hoping to start feeling better because I'm truly sick of this sort of pathetic lifestyle. I used to be self sufficient and I want to get back to that somewhat.)

So... the gist of the visit was that he is not giving me a definite diagnosis (which I like, it means he isn't a quack IMO) so instead he is running his own blood tests and is seeing me back next week. Both the practitioner and he believe it is Fibromyalgia but as I said they want to confirm with some tests. I had a few things tested back in September (which he said were abnormal signifying fibro) but he wanted a current reading which is a good sign. Not really looking to be drugged up unless need be, you know?

Anyway, we JUST made it to the hospital where I get my blood drawn. The tech there was about 20something and had a "I love vampires" pin on his name badge lanyard... I had to be a cheese and say,"The pin is oddly appropriate." he smiled and said his colleagues also liked it. I guess drawing blood all day makes it a fun talking point. If I were a blood tech I'd probably be insane and go in faux blood covered clothing and blame it on a bad stick every time. (Then I'd get fired, but it would be an awesome story.)

So... we were walking out and they had already closed up shop. I was the last one of the day which was awesome timing on my part. Went to Rite-Aid to pick up my medicine(s) for other issues and some bandages- I got some Mickey Mouse ones for my 'blood test battle wounds' since I figured they might make me feel less bad about getting stuck every month or so.

"Yes. I got Mickey Mouse Band-Aids. Don't judge me."


Overall today was okay. I'm still missing working on art projects but I just can't focus long enough to do anything... so instead I've been trying to piddle around and organize my supplies. It sort of makes me sad to see them and have a million ideas on what to do with them and then not have the energy to follow through but I've high hopes this new doctor might be able to help me cope and get back to some sense of normalcy. I'd really like semi-normal and might even settle for mediocre at this point.

If I would have started youtube about 6-7 years ago I'd probably post 20 tutorials a day... I had so much hyperactive energy that it was insane. I feel like I'm letting more than myself down with having followers which is making everything a bit more difficult but it's nice to know most of you are supportive (the majority are) and that helps me cope with not being able to do much in the video department. One thing I never let up on is the comments though. I'm still able to get to all of you which is awesome... it's getting a bit more difficult lately but I can still manage for the most part.

Okay so... I guess that's about it. I'll update again once I get to see him again.