I spent about an hour deleting things off of the Sony cam. I deleted things casually as I went along and/or made mistakes but the majority of my work has been being archived on it since I bought it a few months ago. It took a while to delete everything since I couldn't for the life of me find the "Delete all" option but it was good. I felt good deleting things manually. It was almost therapeutic seeing records/memories wipe away.
I saved a few pictures here and there but the bulk of it was just random bracelet stuff. Honestly, doing these bracelets lately has made me realize how my health and talents are trying to play hide and seek with me. I really wish I could just figure out where my energy/health is hiding... I'd love to feel good again and be able to get really excited about making stuff (again) but lately making things has just been a way to cope.
Doing all this artsy fartsy busywork with my hands keeps my mind off how I feel, how little sleep I got, etc. I guess in a way making things and putting all of my energy towards 'creating' leaves me less time to feel sorry for myself. I guess it's working out for me but sometimes I wish I could let myself just slip in to some self pity. It's difficult making yourself believe everything is fine and sometimes you need to just sit down and cry like you're on a deserted island in the pacific somewhere and no one is around to hear you blubber like a toddler.
I've noticed since my boyfriend moved in nearly two years ago I've only cried about twice. Impressive for me. I used to cry at simple things like commercials that were sweet... so only bawling twice in two years is quite the improvement.
It seems that lately I try to be stronger now so he won't feel sorry for me... I think it may be making me a bit more crazy though. Crazy and art go hand in hand luckily- if anything it may be making me a bit more creative. Here's hoping.